Asterisk general: It is not necessary to dial a 1 when dialing this number. It is not necessary to dial a 1 or the area code when dialing this number. It is not necessary to dial the area code when dialing this number. You must first dial... ...when dialing this number. All outgoing lines are currently unavailable. Please try again later. Call waiting Please answer the following. Voicemail system Race (don't know what this is for) If you need help, please hang up and dial the operator. Your call cannot be completed due to network error. Your call cannot be completed due to a temporary error Your call cannot be completed due to an error at the receiving telephone company. Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try your call again. Please check the number and dial again. We're sorry (I'm sorry is already recorded...) We apologize / but / No route exists to the dialed destintation That service not implemented That option not implemented This call has be preempted The last error on this line was... Cause code Q dot nine three one Q dot nine thirty one message number error number C L L I You have reached a test number The tones that follow are for the deaf. Test tones follow For quality control and training purposes, this call may be monitored or recorded. To dial by name... otherwise, Please enter the first three letters of your party's first or last name. (emphasize 'or' just a bit) Please enter your numeric message after the tone. Who would you like to call? A connect charge... A connect charge of <50 cents> ... for the first ... Minute Minutes The number is not answering. You do not have enough credit to dial this number. <50) cents per minute seconds ... will apply. This call will cost... Your confirmation number is... This is now being recorded. ('somethings' for above:) call / conference / channel This is the voice mail system. The mailbox / for / / has / <5 messages>. To log in to voicemail... To hang up, ...to hang up. (bug 2491) ... or press 6 to eject the last user. Press pound to log in to voicemail or star to hang up. The call you have made requires a... < 50 cent > ...deposit. The speed dial entry you have accessed is empty. To hear the caller ID of the last call... The party at the number you have dialed has decided not to take calls from your number at this time. If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. through load average ...is not in the... Thanks for using... variable explanation language roaming staff users To protect internet bandwidth and maintain call quality, this system has a limit on the number of simultaneous calls. Simultaneous call limit reached. Your attention is required. The system has crashed. Restarting Self destruct initiating terminating initiated terminated cancelled Sorry you are having problems. quality control quality assurance training purposes You can press... ... at any time. and or and-or for... press... hit... was Press 1 for yes, or 2 for no. was Shall I try again? inbound outbound More computer/network terms: (if all-lowercase, prounounce. If all-caps, read letters) web HTTP telnet ssh secure shell pop imap FTP DNS TCP UDP ICMP port server windows linux system box machine unix time date uptime disk swap memory traffic denial of service available unavailable ping packet loss count number milliseconds up down Departments: We don't have tech support. There is no customer support. To report an emergency... To report a system or network down... For sales... For billing... For technical support... For service... To reach an operator... To reach the first available representative... You seem impatient. If you have a maintenance contract or require emergency assistance... Please wait, and I will attempt to patch you through to our on-call engineer. In case I am unsuccessful, you should speak to... at the following number. I am sorry, but I was unable to connect you to our on-call engineer. / Please try manually. Numbers/currencies: Euro Euros Cent Cents Pound Pence Penny Pennies P (as in, the abbreviation for pence) point (for use in floating-point numbers -- "53 point 2 degrees") Privacy manager stuff: Conferencing stuff (bug 2382): The conference will begin when the leader arrives. <1> user will join the conference. <3> users will join the conference. The leader has left the conference. You will now be placed into the conference. has entered the conference. has left the conference. That conference is full. You have been banned from this conference. You are now the only person left in this conference. There are / <75> / people in this conference. You are in conference number... System operator requested. System operator request cancelled. The sysop... AstCC: Please enter your 12-digit account number, skipping any punctuation, followed by the pound key. Please enter your / <75> / -digit account number, / skipping any punctuation, / followed by the pound key. (as above) / followed by the hash key. The card number you have entered is invalid. The account number you have entered is invalid. The balance of your account is... Your account balance is... ... is at ... Phrase management: Prase management To record a phrase... To review a phrase... You have entered an invalid option. Blacklist/whitelist stuff: To blacklist the last caller... To blacklist this number... To whitelist the last caller... To whitelist this number... The last caller was... You have been blacklisted on this system. If you feel this is an error... If you feel this is in error, or unjust, please leave a message after the tone. Otherwise, please hang up now. Please stop calling. You are not welcome here. (once straight, and once mildly annoyed) Due to the huge number of unsolicited calls we recieve, we are now screening all inbound calls where a caller ID is unavailable or withheld. If this is an unsolicited sales or marketing call, please be advised that we only wish to be contacted in writing. Please dial / / to hear our contact details. Please stay on the line to be connected. You are calling from... Your callerid is... blocked Weather: around barometer ceiling dew point falling feet foot gust gusting to gusts gusty heat index humidity inch inches kilometer large meter mist northeast northwest percent point rainfall rising southeast southwest steady temperature visibility wind chill winds Automation nouns: < the something-or-other > has been left AC DC PSI air conditioner alarm amps attic baby sleeping mode back basement bathroom bedroom bright caller ID car port christmas lights christmas tree closet coffee pot cool cooling deck den dim diningroom door doors down driveway dryer fan first floor floor(s) floors fountain foyer front furnace game room garage great room guest room hall heat heat pump heating hot tub house intruder is kitchen lamp lamps landscape laundry library light lights livingroom locked locking mailbox master off office on open patio phone play play room pool porch power failure pressure quiet mode reset roof room rooms second floor secure security system set side solar sprinklers still stove sump pump sunroom system(s) thermostat tower unlocked unlocking up volts washing machine water heater watts well pump window windows yard Automation prompts: Welcome to the ... (blech) For a quick status report... For a weather report... To control lights and appliances... To control environmental systems... APRS/Ham Radio: altitude and approching bearing call terminated connected connecting connection failed. connection timed out. decode disconnected email encode feet frequency has arrived at headed towards heading hertz highway in service interstate kilometer location mail meters miles near node off duty packet position range remote already in this mode remote base repeat only repeater simplex duplex speed station has not been seen for was last seen on <...> ... towards ... ... from ... Replacements: (piecing together separate 'press' and '' recording isn't very smooth) ...press 1 ...press 2 ...press 3 ...press 4 ...press 5 ...press 6 ...press 7 ...press 8 ...press 9 ...press zero ...press star ...press pound ...press hash ...press tilde ...press escape ...press return ...press enter ...press the space bar hash Misc: male female bytes kilobytes megabytes gigabytes terabytes bits kilobits megabits gigabits terabits hertz kiloherts megaherts gigaherts Humor: You are in a maze of twisty little menus, all alike. Plugh (pronounced ploog, not like plug) There is a shiny brass lamp nearby. (something about the dwarf) Knock knock... Moron Idiot Fucktard You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. Go away! (annoyed) Oops! (several different ways) Yes, dear. (playful, seductive) Are you still there? I don't understand. (several different ways -- emotionless, confused, despondent, carefree...)